An event that makes us remember every precious moment (good or bad) that we had with that someone who just left. We regret the time we never gave to each other. I have been seeing this happening almost every time after death. Children, parents, spouse, siblings – the list of people who tend to have such thoughts maybe even wider. It is the closest who talk about it though.

Does this mean that we will treat those left with us better henceforth? Maybe for a couple of days. It is almost similar to what the latest Covid pandemic did to us. When the lockdowns started easing there was much love, everyone wanted to meet. And then? – life just got back to what it was – I, me, myself, my time, my priorities, my blah blah and blah… People have started valuing relationships a lot more than before maybe, but we are like rubberbands. We barely stretch beyond our original measurements unless some external force plays really hard on us. Once the external pressure eases, we snap back to what we were, unless we are made of bad quality rubber. 😛

Mark Manson got me thinking about death recently, though this time the angle was different. He suggests a thing which sounds like – we should live in such a way that if we die tomorrow, we will have no huge regrets during that last minute. I say last minute because death is not always predictable unless you are terminally ill or actually ready to die. His idea of what to do with life got me thinking really hard. I am not doing a job that I love right now. I am doing it so I can be financially independent, so I can keep away from the complications of job hunting in these bad times, and I really do not know what the other reasons are. I know that I love to write, I love art – drawing, painting, music. I also love to read. I keep dreaming about that day when I can probably start living in a library, immerse myself in a vast unending ocean of books and just stay that way for as long as I can. I know for sure that this dream might just remain a dream, but I so wish it was granted someday. That is what I would love to do before I die, at least for a day or week, or maybe month, or if possible for a year. Greedy me!

I am sure everyone out there has a dream like me. And yes, we all have our constraints, inhibitions and comfort zones. I am not too sure if the self help books can help everyone. I am not sure if I will live the life I want before I die. Of course, I will not after I die – that is the only thing I know. Maybe I should start keeping aside some time for the stuff that I actually like, enjoy and would give a lifetime to. Not sure if that would happen, but I am definitely going to try. If there are other people here who have actually made time for yourself in spite of work and busy schedules, please do share your experience here. Let us share ideas and share some happiness!

Published by

Pooja Subramanian

Author of the book "Twigs Entwined"

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