Seasonal musings – it is valentine’s month!!!

Ever seen hopeless romantics?

The kind who go into depression when deprived of love?

The kind who cannot handle heartbreaks and loss of loved ones?

The kind who fall for anyone who seem loving and caring?

The kind who feel intimidated by people who cannot love or care?

Yes, such people exist. They may seem foolish to a lot of practical people out there. But, the truth is that they exist amongst us.

They are not weak. In fact they may be stronger than most when it comes to standing up for their love and loved ones. It is just that most of them come across as sweet, gullible and of course super romantic (when they are in love, or maybe even most of the time).

I have always wondered why such people cannot change. They fall in love, sometimes get ditched, take months and years to heal, but fall in love again.

We Indians loathe people who do not go by the wishes of their families and set out to find partners on their own. I remember this friend from college who was being pursued by every guy around. She was good at studies, beautiful, smart and a lovely human being. She had also had a boyfriend before coming to our college. Somehow that made everyone feel that she deserved no respect. When another filthy boyfriend of hers decided to publish their private conversations, instead of empathizing with the poor girl, everyone saw her in a dirty light and empathized with the boy. She left him for good. I know now. How difficult would it have been to live with an idiot who goes public with your private life and conversations about sex after every fight? Well, she found true love later and I am hoping she lives happily ever after like in the fairy tales. Back then in college, even I had kept myself away from her because of all the stories and storytellers who did what they best did. Later on in life, after I lived a bit longer and saw a lot more of life, I realized how wrong I was. I should have supported her instead of leaving her to the wolves. In fact, all of us should have done that. Apologies to that lovely friend if she happens to read this some day.

Th point is, we are too quick to judge. Who is anyone to judge a person in love? What right does anyone have to interfere in someone else’s love life? Do you understand how that person thinks? Do you understand how that person feels? So cut the crap, stop judging. If a good friend needs to discuss their love life with you, do it. Hear them out, keep the judge in you aside until you are done. Give sensible advise, not as a judge, but as a true well-wishing friend. That was for all the love judges out there.

And for anyone who thinks falling in love is a mistake, it is not. It is a beautiful feeling. The ” fluttering butterflies”, “fastening heartbeats” – these are a few sensations everyone simply deserves to feel at least once in their life time. And if you have had too many lovers in a life time, it is probably because you have not found the right one yet. Keep trying until you find “the one” for you. Even if you never find that one, just keep loving if you feel like it, but without any regrets. What is done, is done. Never look back and regret. If you get ditched – swear, throw tantrums, just let the steam out and move on. You have no business being in a relationship that has reached its expiry date already. Do not cling on to people who do not need you in their lives anymore. Easily said than done, but trust me. It is all in your own head. Your mind is yours to maneuver.

And for married people, yes marriage comes with a free package of families. These package might not fit into your life perfectly sometimes. Remember that your marriage gets complicated only when these package open and spills into your private room which is demarcated for the two in love. Keep your private rooms private, there is no need for the packages to get involved there. Their advice is required only to solve larger family issues and not issues within the private room.

That was it I guess – my shareable thoughts for this Valentine’s season. Keep loving. 🙂

Published by

Pooja Subramanian

Author of the book "Twigs Entwined"

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